February Thoughts
Dictionary.com defines love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, or a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection for a parent, child, or friend.”
The definition of love is written in one direction and action: outward, for others. Is giving love less impactful than receiving? Do we see giving love as a weakness? It can make us feel vulnerable and insecure. And so what happens when we are both giver and receiver?
Why is feeling love for ourselves confusing and uncomfortable?
What barriers do we put in place that prevent us from loving ourselves? Do we worry about the slippery slope of ego and safely stay on the solid ground of self-deprecation masked by false humility? Have we been told that we do not deserve love?
Somewhere in our upbringing, we have heard unkind words. We have had moments of not living up to the standards of others that we then adopted as measures of worth. We may have been told to be more or less of something, which made us feel unworthy of unconditional love.
And then there is the busy-ness of life that we use as a distraction. We have been conditioned to put others first. We learned the importance of success. We learned to work hard and make an impact. But, unfortunately, we didn’t understand where we fit into that equation.
What barriers do we put in place that prevent us from loving ourselves?
There have been times when I have beaten myself up emotionally—feeling very little love for myself. We can all relate. The words I chose for myself were harsh, and I was leaving little room for anything other than feeling like a complete failure. I wondered if I would ever speak to anyone else that way. And, of course, the answer was NO. In those private mental conversations, it is easy to not use love and kindness with ourselves. But these are the moments when we should be the most loving and kind. That also includes being honest about what we need to do to improve.
I do not assume to know exactly how to achieve self-love, but I am willing to explore and peel back the layers—accepting, forgiving, and loving myself.
I invite you to join me in discovering who you are and why you deserve love. You are a Beautiful, Unique, Daring, Inspirational, Kind, and Aware being. You deserve love.
With Love and gratitude,
Elease